Beating One's Head Against a Brick Wall

When new military families arrive in Japan, we are required to go through an orientation to help us adjust to our new surroundings. We receive diagrams of the train routes, we get detailed step by step instructions on how to use train depots, we get hand outs on how to get to many fun destinations on the train, and we are required to ride the train one whole day of our orientation. How does the Greeson family get around? Car. And we act surprised when it's a challenge.



First off, let me tell you that without the handy directions provided by the Fleet and Family Services out here, we would be driving exactly nowhere. That said, these directions pretty much have you on a precipe - take the step out onto the four hundred year old rope bridge with only these directions as support, or stay home (or take the train....). Let me tell you, these directions are less than one hundred percent precise (make the next right after the KFC; after the fourteenth light turn left; after you count nine tunnels make a u turn and then make your fourth right) and if a business moves, or if the directions make one small mistake (a left for a right for instance), you are in for a seriously long ride.



You might say, "Jenn, why not just buy a map?" After my first finger clenching ride with only crazy directions in hand (and as the daughter of a city planner) that was the first thing I did. I bought maps a plenty. As it turns out, I think Japan is trying to keep it's geography secret in case of a later invasion. We ran into a couple of problems with this method. One, nothing is labelled. That's not true, it is sparsely labelled. One road will be, yet the next 5 major roads are not. You may see the road you might need to travel on, but all the roads TO that one are not labelled. Incredible. And I won't get into the side streets - in Hong Kong they all had English translations but we quickly realized coming home from a bar one night that the English translations did not correspond with their Chinese counterpart so i'm sure if they translated all the Japanese roads it wouldn't necessarily help us English speakers anyway.



I have come to terms with being an everyday car driver here. The everyday shlepping around is definitely doable and the toll roads make travelling locally pretty painless (once you have undergone the first painful voyage to the new location) except on your pocketbook. I think the toll system would really change how Americans drive. It makes you weigh your desire vs. monetary set back. "How badly do I really want to go to New Jack Mall?? Twenty two dollars worth?" Hmmmm. What we have not come to terms with, is that driving outside of our area of comfort, and to anywhere outside the Yokohama area, is akin to, yes, beating one's head against a brick wall.



Bob took a week off last week and we decided to do a couple of day trips. Our first trip was to the Izu peninsula to see an outdoor public onsen (hot springs), the largest waterfall in the area (Joren), and to hike down a river to see seven waterfalls. The directions predicted five hours to get there - we thought WHAT?? No way. We're driving 150 km on toll roads but only roughly 50km on regular roads. How does that equal 5 hours. Well, the good news - it did not take 5 hours. It took 3.5. The toll road drive went fine, but what we forget is the mind numbing 50 km are on roads with lights spaced ten feet apart and have all forms of traffic day and night. It took us an hour to travel 30 km. Initially we found it funny that the signs were counting down by KILOMETER to our said street destination (16km away). Thirty minutes later we realized it was for to keep those crazy drivers motivated to get there (only 11.5 km to go, we're this committed, we need to go ALL THE WAY!!). These drives make us crazy, make our kids crazy (especially as we had thought we could survive without a car DVD player), and yet, we continue to push the limits, and now with a whole new level for bad driving, keep trying to make ourselves believe that the location truly does justify the drive.

Six things to Remember about Driving in Japan.

1. You really can drive 30 km for one hour.
2. You will get lost (or believe yourself to be lost) at least once per outing.
(do I turn here...did that sign mean here? This right or the next right? Let's turn around...OOOH good, the signage is much better coming from this direction.)
3. You will pay out your behind for parking or tolls (especially when you really are lost and need to turn around and retrace your steps while on a toll road - which is a best case scenerio to get lost on.)
4. You will pass a train station within steps of your destination.
5. It is only worthwhile for truly Japanese moment and memory making.
6. No matter how long it takes you to get somewhere or how miserable the drive is, you will get back in your car the next day and do it all over again.